THE LOVE FILES – Strengthening Boundaries

strengthening boundariesNO is such an empowering word!

You may have heard the word boundaries and thought yours were good but if you have found yourself feeling you are put upon within a relationship or by others in general then you need to take another look at your boundaries.

Do you find it easy to say no and mean it?

Try it. The next time you do not want to do something and you know that if you say yes you will feel put upon and unhappy that you have done so, try just saying “no.”

It may be difficult at first but if you keep practising saying “no” to things you do not want to do, it will get easier and the payoffs to you could be great.

The reason for this is twofold:

Firstly, you can gauge the other person’s reaction to you saying no and see how far they will try to push you to get you to do what they want. Secondly, it gives you a sense of empowerment that you can use the “no” word. The more you use it and hear yourself using it the easier it becomes to say “No”.

It can also sound easier to your ears if you say to yourself “no more” when you are by yourself as this will put you in a state of thinking that you are not taking any more on from others and it helps to sound like you have put an underline or a full stop after the no.

It gets you back into your own life as you are not holding inner anger at why you are doing something you don’t want to do but rather you are taking some of your own power back and saying to yourself “no more”.

By doing this it frees up your own time and energy to get back to who really matters… you!

 

 


Sessions

 

I am available for live phone (AUS only) or chat consultations in 10-, 30- and 60-minute increments, payable through PayPal. I am located on the beautiful mid north coast of New South Wales in Australia, AEST time zone. Please email me to schedule an appointment if you do not see me live.

You can also add me to


 

*This article first appeared on the Psychic Scoop Website.

THE LOVE FILES – Giving Too Much

giving too much

giving too much

If you have been giving of yourself, your resources, your time and energy to a relationship and not getting anything in return what have you not tried?

The definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

The person doing all the giving in a relationship is setting themselves up to always be in the role of “giver.” The other person who is usually doing very little to keep the relationship together has been programmed that they do not need to do anything as you are doing it all for them.

If you step back a bit they may, and usually do, pick up the slack and give back to you some more in time, affection, talking things through, etc but this usually ends as soon as you start giving again.

The more this cycle goes on the less likely you are to get as much back from your partner because they are learning just how much they have to give to keep you in their lives so that you are always doing more, feeling more and giving them the evidence that they have you 100% while you feel as if you are not sure where you stand with them.

Sound familiar? Sound fair?

One small step can go a long way. If you are the one always giving you need to come up with a solution that you have not used before.

You have to shake the other person up so much that they do not know what you will do next and they have no experience of this type of behaviour in you to fall back on so they know what to do to keep you attached to them.

This usually involves you pulling back and focusing your energy on yourself and your own life. Can you do that?

 

 


Sessions

 

I am available for live phone (AUS only) or chat consultations in 10-, 30- and 60-minute increments, payable through PayPal. I am located on the beautiful mid north coast of New South Wales in Australia, AEST time zone. Please email me to schedule an appointment if you do not see me live.

You can also add me to


 

*This article first appeared on the Psychic Scoop Website.

THE LOVE FILES – Your Relationship History

relationship history

relationship historyHave you ever sat down and wondered why you draw the same type of person into your love life giving you the same negative outcome to the relationship?

Let’s face it, if you were drawing the right type of person into your love life now, you’d have a better chance at a positive outcome.

There may be something that you’re playing out from your early childhood experiences, or from what you observed within your parents’ relationship that you have since learned to equate with love.

However, if your parents’ relationship was not that great and let’s face it many are not as they are only doing the best they can with the past experiences they have then you may find yourself repeating their pattern without consciously being aware of it.

Sometimes you will find your parents had a great relationship but you have been drawn into bad relationship choices yourself and put at the receiving end of someone else’s idea of what a relationship is all about. Let’s call this living up to your partner’s expectations of what love is and how a relationship is meant to proceed and there’s about as many different types of expectations as you can imagine.

If this has happened to you and you think back on it you may be able to find the defining moment that you were drawn into these types of relationships.

Before you know it you are up against a wall reacting to your partner’s behaviour in the way you see as being “normal” but if this is not the normal reaction they are expecting, given that they have a different relationship pattern to you, then you are pushed into the position of reacting to them in a way that is out of character for you.

By doing so you have just entered the phase of… what the hell is going on and what do I do to fix it?

If you are not aware of what is going on and that you have been pushed into behaving in a way that is not your norm you will keep coming from a place within yourself trying to fix things in the relationship with little impact.

You may feel lost, guilty, defensive, angry, confused and then you will start further trying to fix things from the negative emotions within you.

Is this sounding familiar to you? If so sit down, grab a pen and go back over your previous relationships keeping in mind your own parents’ relationship and see what comes up for you.

 

 


Sessions

 

I am available for live phone (AUS only) or chat consultations in 10-, 30- and 60-minute increments, payable through PayPal. I am located on the beautiful mid north coast of New South Wales in Australia, AEST time zone. Please email me to schedule an appointment if you do not see me live.

You can also add me to


 

*This article first appeared on the Psychic Scoop Website.

THE LOVE FILES – Relationship Series

love files

love filesEver wondered why you feel so drawn to someone and they are not possibly that drawn back to you? Wondering what you can do about it or how to protect yourself and your own boundaries.

There are actually many ways you can strengthen your boundaries ensuring you are not pulled into a situation you do not want to be a part of.

Sometimes relationships can feel like a blur with no real rhythm or reason as to what the rules are or how they are meant to work. We all have different thoughts on what we want our relationships to be and sometimes we miss that what we want is not what the other person actually wants.

Ask a Psychic: What Do Our Transits Hold?

transits

A client who we’ll call Anna wrote in to ask about her and her ex-lover’s current and upcoming transits.

She had been seeing a man for a year and a half before he broke up with her — completely unexpectedly — in late April.

At the time he told her he was confused about his feelings and was thinking about someone he’d met and dated before.

Anna was blindsided by this breakup and says that at the time she thought things were going very well. She does have some knowledge of astrology herself and has looked into each of their transits trying to make sense of things.